


How to Catch an Alchemist

by Kleptomaniac_Can_Opener



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Roy Mustang, Alpha/Omega, Amnesia, Child Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric Keeps Alchemy, Edward Elric Keeps Automail, Edward Elric Swears, Edward Elric is Stubborn, Germany Never Happened, M/M, Maes Hughes Lives, Mentions of Menstruation, Omega Edward Elric, Omega Verse, Restored Alphonse Elric, Roy Mustang is a Jerk, a Sexy Jerk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27311236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kleptomaniac_Can_Opener/pseuds/Kleptomaniac_Can_Opener
Summary: Love him and hate him, Edward can’t stay away from the most infuriating of alphas in his life. Now Alphonse is hitting puberty on top of everything.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 4
Kudos: 108





	1. Chapter 1

Edward slammed his palms against the wall, causing fractures in the brick on one side. Gold eyes glared, piercing into the raven-haired man he had trapped between his arms. It was infuriating that the older male was still taller than him, but what pissed him off even more was the smirk playing over that handsome face. It took everything he had in him not to punch Mustang between the eyes with his metal arm.

“Fullmetal, welcome back to Central.”  
“Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass right here and now, bastard General.” Metal fingers dug into the wall. The blond was better at holding his temper these days, right until it came to the Flame Alchemist.  
“I’ll give you two,” Mustang replied. “You dislike the accommodations of our five star brig, and you still can’t beat me in a fight.”

“Bastard!” Edward yanked back his fist to plant it in Mustang’s head, but was stopped by a cheerful cry.  
“Brother, you’re back!”

“Make that three reasons,” the General said with a chuckle, gazing past the automail only centimeters from his nose to the fiery blond. The man hadn’t even flinched.

Alphonse ran up to the pair, a woven basket in his hands. “Ah! You’re already causing property damage,” the younger Elric complained. Edward moved away from the source of his anger to smile at his younger brother instead.  
“Al!” He swept the boy into a hug and swung him around, surrounding himself in the scent of sunshine and wheat fields. “I’ve missed you!” The twelve-year-old laughed and held tight to the basket to keep from losing his cargo.  
“Brother, I’m carrying groceries!”

Edward eventually placed Alphonse back on booted feet and held him at arm’s length to get a look at him—the child was glowing with health and energy, golden-brown eyes sparkling with the joy of life. When they had finally managed to regain Al’s body from the Gate two years ago, it had returned as it had been the day they had attempted to resurrect their mother with their juvenile alchemy. Since then, his younger brother had already grown taller and he was allowing his short hair to lengthen. It was currently tied back in a short ponytail at the nape of his neck.

“You’re looking good. How’s Winry?”  
“Sister’s been busy in the workshop,” the boy answered, “a big order came in a few days ago. And before you ask, my lessons have been going well.”  
“I never doubted that,” Edward agreed as he ruffled dark blond bangs. They had no explanation for why Alphonse had lost his memories, perhaps it had been the cost of his body returning from that strange in-between dimension, but the knowledge the younger Elric had gained while traveling as a living suit of armor had remained. It needed to be unlocked, but it was all there waiting for Al to access it.

Edward both did and didn’t hope that his brother’s memories returned. It was probably better for them not to, for Al to continue to believe he had lost his past in an accident. He deserved to have a real childhood without the weight of the horrors they had experienced for too many years.

“Get home with that stuff. I’ll be back for dinner.” The preteen gave his older sibling a stern frown.  
“No more property damage, Ed!” The bright blond grinned.  
“I’ll try, but no promises.”

Alphonse huffed, cheeks puffing out. “I guess that’s the best I can hope for.” The dark blond spun on his heel to face Mustang. “Thanks for always looking out for this troublemaker, General. Have a good day!” The boy ran off with his own grin plastered on his cherubic face.  
“I’ll get you back for that, brat!” Edward’s jovial tone betrayed his threat as a mere joke.

“He’s always been a good kid,” Mustang commented after a moment. Edward’s smile fell, gold eyes still staring at where Alphonse disappeared around a corner.  
“Has he said anything?”  
“If he has regained any of his past memories, he hasn’t said anything to me.” The General glanced in the same direction, contemplating to himself on the matter.

Roy Mustang had first met the Elric brothers nine years ago, and he felt obligated to see that Alphonse was safe and happy in his new life. Ebony eyes returned to Edward. “I take it the trip didn’t go well.” A vein danced over the blonde’s temple.  
“You know damn well it didn’t, you bastard.” Ed flipped out the middle finger of his metal hand, but his superior only responded with a smile.  
“Come now, Fullmetal, I only ever send you missions with the best of intentions!”  
“I’ll send you through this fucking wall,” the smaller male threatened.

The General laughed. “I’ll accept your written report in the morning so you’re not late for dinner. Alphonse has been looking forward to your return, I think he has something planned.”  
“He’s probably trying to butter Winry and me up for a kitten,” Edward mused. He hadn’t missed the boy’s ‘school project’ that suspiciously looked like a cat tower. He began to walk away. “I’ll avoid your ugly mug in the morning,” he said as words of parting.

A scent wrapped around the blond, stopping him in his tracks. It was smoke and cedar and well-kept books, like incense in a comfortable library. He gritted his teeth, his canines tingling. The young man hated how much the other’s scent affected him.

“It’s your Heat soon, isn’t it?” Edward chose not to reply, but that didn’t stop Mustang from continuing. “If you need a partner, you know where my house is.” That maddening and delicious scent retreated, followed by the General continuing on his way before he had been interrupted. The raven male wasn’t going to wait for an answer, he knew he didn’t need to.

The blond cursed to himself. “Fucking alpha.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this with a fever, enjoy!

The night before, Edward had allowed his younger brother to steer conversation away from his ‘school project that was most definitely an outfitted cat tower and now also a heated cat bed’ but only because Winry had looked more tired than usual when she had joined them late for dinner. Whatever she was working on had to be rough, and the last thing he wanted was her wrench up his nose.

The eldest Elric opted to enjoy how animated his sibling was now. When he had finally gotten Alphonse his body back, he had been so weak and emancipated—his thin chest barely rising with his shallow breaths, they were afraid they would lose him before the boy had a chance to live again. But in true Elric fashion, Al had bounced back with a vengeance and a smile. He couldn’t remember who he was or his family, but he had innately trusted the people he had called friends and loved ones. The old Alphonse Elric was in there, but now with a second chance at everything they had lost a lifetime ago.

“Brother, you’re crying!” The youngest blonde’s wide eyes were filled with alarm, and Winry’s head snapped up from the half-doze she had fallen into.  
“Ed?!”

He shook his head and scrubbed his face with a sleeve. “I’m not crying,” he insisted, “I got something in my eyes.”  
“I’ll get the eye wash!” Edward grabbed the boy by the back of his shirt before he got far.  
“I don’t need eyewash, water will be fine.”

The eldest Elric stood from the table to clean himself up, ignoring the distressed gazes of his family. He glared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, observing the mild flush to his cheeks and the glow to his skin. “Damn oncoming Heat.” He hated Pre-Heat Syndrome and how it screwed with his moods, like he didn’t have enough things to deal with on a daily basis.

There was a quick knock on the door before Winry poked her head in. “You alright, Ed?” Her vivid blue eyes were flooded with worry. He hated when he made his childhood friend—his chosen family—worry over him. She didn’t deserve that.  
“It’s nothing, just PHS,” he admitted as he patted his face dry. The towel was fresh and still smelled faintly of laundry soap, it annoyed him how it annoyed him.

Miss Rockbell’s apprehension drained away and her round shoulders relaxed. “Need anything?”  
“Nah, it’s not bad right now. I have a few more days.” He dropped the hand towel back onto the wall rack. “I’m done eating though.” He frowned at his stomach. He hadn’t eaten much but his belly was rebelling at the idea of consuming anything further.  
“Okay, I’ll put away the leftovers.” The young lady left him to his privacy.

Once he had swallowed down an acetaminophen as a preventative, Edward wished Alphonse a goodnight under the guise of needing to catch up on his sleep after such an infuriately-annoying-waste-of-time-I-hate-that-bastard-General mission. He was glad to see golden-brown eyes filled with mirth before bed. He couldn’t ask for a better sight at the end of the day.

It was early the next morning when Ed woke to cat butt in his face. “AL! WINRY!” The blonde’s shouting was interspersed with startled and angry mews.

Minutes later, he was fuming at the dining table with the accomplices beaming rainbows and sparkles across from him. His brother held up one kitten with large aquamarine eyes, a shorthair that was mostly white except for calico patches that wrapped both ears and eyes, and splashed over his rump and tail. It wasn’t much of a tail either, it was short and wagging like a puppy’s. “This is Schrodinger.”  
“And this is his sister,” Winry sang. She held up a longhair, brown-spotted tabby with gold eyes that were glaring at him like he had wronged her in several of her nine lives. Her similarly bobbed tail was curled between her legs, and she was wearing the most fantastic of scowls. “Her name’s Eddie.”

Edward sputtered. “Eddie‽”  
“She even has your ahoge,” the light blonde insisted, poking a tuft of fur between Eddie’s large ears. Ed clamped his flesh hand to his head.  
“I do not have ahoge,” he vehemently denied, just for his antennae to pop up as soon as his hand slid away. Winry and Alphonse laughed, and while the eldest Elric wanted to stay angry he couldn’t when he saw how happy his brother was.

It was after breakfast and Alphonse had left for the library to meet his tutor when Edward broached the subject of their newest family members, who were busy climbing and pouncing each other all over the cat tower. Winry was washing dishes with Ed drying them. “I thought we had agreed no pets until Al was older.”  
“I know,” she replied after a moment that was short but thick with a heavy silence, “but I’ve been so busy, and you’ve been on the road a lot lately…”

Edward felt his chest ache, the muscles constricting around his heart. “He hasn’t made any friends?” The words were sour in his mouth. It wasn’t right, Alphonse was a social butterfly and he loved having friends—people loved being his friend.  
“He said he wants to wait until he’s cleared to go to school. You know how sensitive he is, he doesn’t want to stand out while he’s still…adjusting.” It was her diplomatic way of referring to his amnesia that had erased the finer details of living in a society from the boy’s memory, the things normally picked up in early childhood.  
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I get it.”

The bright blond put away the glass he was holding as his thoughts turned. Part of him knew that some of Al’s insecurity was likely rollover from his experiences in his last life. As a giant suit of armor, he hadn’t often been treated his age, people assumed he had been an adult, and he couldn’t help but be the center of attention everywhere they went since he had literally been head and shoulders above most crowds. His brother had been in a lot of awkward situations because of that. An amnesiac transfer student in the middle of the schoolyear? Uncomfortable at best.

He jolted when his flesh shoulder was touched; vivid blue eyes were staring in concern. Edward managed a grin and shook his head. He already knew dwelling on it wouldn’t help.  
Besides, they were all going to be okay if it was the last thing he did. There was no other choice, he’d do anything for Al.

Work was calling both of them once the morning domesticity was completed, but Winry caught her fellow blond before heading to her workshop in the backyard. “With your Heat coming, are you going to rent a nest at the Omega House?” Edward groaned at the reminder.  
“Yeah. You’re so damn lucky you’re a beta.” The girl shrugged, but she wasn’t sorry for her private relief at the fact. She had her own ovulation cycle to deal with, but it was easier than any Heat or Rut.  
“Hey, at least your Heats aren’t too bad,” she pointed out in an attempt to cheer him up. “I have friends that last a full week and they need caretakers the whole time because their brains are mush.”

Edward shuddered at the thought of being that vulnerable. Three days of annoying nesting instincts and being perpetually horny/thirsty/hungry was bad enough, thank you.

“Al’s healthy enough if you want to stay home,” Winry suggested out of the blue, or it felt out of the blue. She had been thinking it since his last Heat away from the house. Ed couldn’t stop a grimace. The chances of him accidentally setting off his brother’s Presentation were slim to none now that the boy was strong again, but they were still odds he didn’t want to gamble with.  
“Nah, I’d be a distraction to his studies,” he said as an excuse. “OW!”

Tiny needles dug into his flesh calf and were making their way up to his thigh. “Getitoff! Getitoff!”  
“Oh stop exaggerating,” Winry laughed as she plucked the tabby away. The little jerk was smirking at him, he could see it!  
“This is war, you little shit!” He shook his metal fist at the kitten, who was clearly snickering at the blond man from behind a fluffy paw. Miss Rockbell rolled her eyes.  
“Go give your report, Ed.”

The male erked. Making his report meant facing the Bastard General and his imprudent alpha smell and that vexing smirk on his illegally attractive face, all with his Heat looming around the corner. His scowl was a match for Eddie’s.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see my blog, art, and social media links [click here!](https://twitter.com/DawnEastpoint/status/1259773504909606912)


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